I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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