this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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