I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
