Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
