I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
