I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
