Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
