we have pet lesbian snakes
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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