Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
