Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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