I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
