I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
