dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
