so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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