your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
