these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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