i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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