I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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