i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
