I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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