Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize