his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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