Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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