I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
