On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Mom said you looked used
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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