i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
