My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
