What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
