From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
4 words: hood of his car
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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