Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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