Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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