Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
