i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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