we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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