Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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