she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
