Duck Duck Cougar?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's just like the Real World with babies
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize