he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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