if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
