On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
