Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
