A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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