we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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