Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
