The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
