everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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