no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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