i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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