1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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