Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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