Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
