i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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