Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
