ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
