spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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