THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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