This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize