i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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