I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
