why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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